How Can Abandonment Affect Kids and Adults?
Impacts on Children
The childhood and long-term effects of excessive parental absence can range from moderate to severe, depending on a child's age, gender, their bond with the absent adult (weak > strong), and their extended family's nurturance-level (low > high).
Common experience suggests that when young children are physically abandoned by a parent or caregiver - or if a primary caregiver is "emotionally unavailable" (can't bond) - the kids are "badly hurt." Their hurt is a mix of...
We, as grand parents, DID NOT abandon our grand kids. They were stolen from us by a system with proclaimed immunity through lies, false accusations, coercion, and trickery effecting our fourth amendment rights. Building a case on us by entering our house by us letting them in through fear of "we are going to take the kids". We now know that we could have said "no" when they asked to come in. We now know that entering our house due to "fear of losing the kids" is not legal because we did not know we could say no. We were fear driven.shock, if the abandonment was unexpected and explosive; and...confusion - many mental questions and uncertainties about the abandonment and what it means; and...shame ("low self esteem") - feeling unlovable and unworthy, even if other adults are genu-inely nurturing and attentive; and perhaps...guilts - feeling (irrationally) that they did something bad or wrong that caused the abandon-ment; and/or...fears of (a) bonding with some or all adults / men / women; and that (b) their other care-givers will also abandon them, and they will die; and...grief over (a) involuntarily broken bonds, and later, (b) over lost hopes and fantasies of reunion. If a child is raised in an "anti-grief" family, s/he can unconsciously carry unfinished mourning into adulthood as periodic or chronic "depression."
It has been four weeks now since the kids were stolen. As far as we know, NO family member other than the recipient from North Carolina has seen these kids.
The AAG was to have Justin call us about visitation last week. He never called.
A few days ago, the kids school called to ask why we had not yet sent the kids to school. We told them why. They said they would leave their slot open for us.
We know these kids. They ALREADY have abandonment issues. Now, their nightmares have been inflicted on them by the same people purported to protect them. We know the real reason why they were taken, and the nightmares are real to the kids. If anything happens to these kids, physically or mentally, while they are not with us, we are holding the AAG, the Office of Children's Services of Alaska, the Guardian ad litum and (an unnamed party) 100% responsible.
The grand mother was herself adopted when she was 1 1/2. Reconciliation with her birth mother did not happen until she was in her forties.
The grand father comes from a large east coast family where large family reunions were common when he was young. Family was and still is important.
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